Metamorphosis
I’m recalibrating my audience.
Many of you have been with me for years. You have known me as a bartender, yoga teacher and writer. A social justice warrior and world traveler. A mother.
If you have stuck around long enough, you have seen me go through many metamorphoses.
~
The photo on the left was taken in 2020. When I look at that picture, I see a girl who was undernourished, universally liked and totally uncontroversial.
She sold essential oils.
That version of me knew exactly how to keep everyone happy:
Glaze right over their triggers. Have no hooks, no edges, nothing anyone can get caught on.
She knew that if you didn’t want to rock the boat, you don’t tell the truth.
She was running a lot of Good Girl patterns.
~
The photo on the right was taken this past October.
That woman has lost friendships. She has shed skins. She has told the truth again and again.
That woman trusts the Current of Life. She accepts its invitation to express herself in ways that others may deem inappropriate.
She works with taboo.
She is not for everyone.
She’s a lot more free.
~
As I have been revealing more tender aspects of myself lately, I’ve also been reflecting on this life journey. When you live authentically, it is inevitable that you will lose people you love. It is also inevitable that you will attract new relationships into your life that are resonant with who you’ve become.
But there is a third type of person I have come to value deeply:
The ones who have loved you through every stage.
These are the ones who have traveled the world with you, from London to Paris to Bangkok.
They’ve known you in passion and depression.
They’re walking beside you through parenthood.
You celebrate holidays together, and remember each other’s birthdays (usually). You know exactly the right gift to buy.
These are the friends who still call you by your childhood nickname.
~
To these ones, thank you.
Thank you for feeling my heart.
Thank you for holding space for my eternal emergence.
Thank you for allowing me to be me.
When I think of these friendships, I see a golden bridge. A landscape full of golden bridges. Each bridge represents a relationship between me and someone who has chosen to stay in connection.
There are so many of you.
I have changed in many ways. The way I look, the way I speak, my self-expression. But although I have changed, I have also stayed the same. If you can still feel my essence, I love you.
Thank you for crossing the bridge.
~
For those of you in my Substack community, I want to extend a special offer for the month of May (my birthday month! 🎈)~
The Taurus Special allows you to receive 50% off when you become a paid subscriber.
(This offer applies to new subscribers only.)
Paid subscribers receive access to all of my writing, including erotica and the Pussy Diaries. Use the code below to redeem your offer:
https://strudeau.substack.com/4ee7df98
Thank you for investing in me. Your support allows me to keep doing this work.
Much love,
Sarah