Step Into Your Power
There is a beautiful brick church right up the street from our home. It sits on a quaint corner across from my children’s school.
The church was built in 1922. It has vaulted ceilings and stained-glass windows. Gorgeous light spills through those windows, and my breath deepens when I step into the space.
I have lived in this neighborhood several times in my life, first as a child, later as a university student, and now as a mother and home-owner. In all of the years that I’ve spent in this neighborhood, that church has always caught my attention. It is a locus of stability and warmth.
On Tuesday afternoons, the church sets up a friendly sidewalk table and offers snacks to the kids streaming out of school.
‘Treat Tuesdays’ are a huge hit with the kids. Sometimes the church folks pass out Nutrigrain Bars (boring), sometimes Yoggies (exciting), and sometimes Rice Krispy Treats (thrilling).
More recently, they have begun putting out a sandwich board on Wednesday mornings that reads:
‘Coffee Wednesdays! Come for the Coffee, Stay for the Co-Working and Yoga!’
Everything about that sign elicits a pleasant buzz in my body.
As a mom who can’t resist the promise of coffee in a novel setting, I’ve dragged my children in several times.
As a yoga instructor coming off of sabbatical, I’ve been curious about the promise of yoga.
Recently, I inquired of the barista:
‘Any chance you’re looking for a yoga instructor? I taught for fifteen years.’
Her eyes brightened. A connection was made.
She asked me to add my email address to the list, and to write ‘Yoga’ beside it.
‘But actually,’ she confided. ‘We’re not ready to hire a yoga teacher yet. We do have a friend who teaches yoga, though, and she said she’d do it for us when the time comes.’
I felt a slight disappointment, but left my name and email address anyway. When I feel a desire, I do not abandon it simply because current circumstances don’t align. I hold it lightly, and trust it to grow into full manifestation if I stay open and it is meant for me.
So while the door seemed to close slightly, I kept the church on my radar. I’ve returned for coffee several times, and my kids and I always stop by the table for Treat Tuesdays.
And now we move on to another dimension of this story:
Over the last few weeks, I have been in the process of organizing my finances so that I can make a significant investment into myself. In making this choice, I am betting fully on me. I am backing myself completely, and taking full responsibility for the outcome.
I’m not following traditional investment advice. I’m following my intuition.
This is a big decision. It carries a lot of weight. I do not make it lightly.
And.
I trust myself. I have shown myself again and again that I am a good investment.
I also know my faults. I know where I leak energy. I acknowledge that I have habits that don’t serve me.
I’m a mixed bag, like everyone. But I am willing to back myself because I know that the investment I’m making now will multiply as I move forward.
As I’ve been preparing to make this investment, I’ve been actively participating in the creation of jobs, money, and opportunities. I’m on the job boards regularly. I’ve submitted applications, resumes, and cover letters to dozens of listings over the last few weeks. I am putting consistent energy into connecting with opportunities that will allow money to flow into my life.
I’m not passively waiting for life to find me- I’m showing up and meeting it. Intentional manifestation works best when you play an active role in its unfolding.
A few days ago, I sat down at my dining room table and wrote a letter to God. It read:
‘Dear God,
Show me how to earn and receive ever-greater amounts of money.
Show me where I leak money (and resources), and help me stop doing that.
Show me where I can allow more in, and help me do that.
Show me how to earn and receive greater amounts of money so that I can help others do the same.’
As I cooked dinner that evening, I received a whole download. I saw myself working at the church, teaching yoga and building community. I saw service and light and colors. I saw a thriving community hub, like a healthy beehive with positive energy streaming in and out. I saw my small but vital role in co-creating that.
The vision lit me up.
And even though the folks at the church said they weren’t ready to offer yoga yet, and that they had a friend lined up when they were, I moved with the energy of the vision. It was strong and full-bodied, and I trusted it.
I began to plan my next steps.
I thought:
‘I need to write a proposal. I will detail all the ways I can help build community and be of service. I will tell them about my unique history with this building and neighborhood. I can even suggest a payment model that will serve us both.’
I intended to begin the following morning.
But the following morning was busy, and most of my energy was focused on the financial decision I am poised to make.
So I followed what was true.
After dropping the kids off at school, I sat down at the dining room table with a pen and paper. I was feeling some anxiety about this upcoming investment. The voices in my mind were saying:
‘That’s irresponsible.’
‘Is this really a good idea?’
‘What if…?’
For the last few weeks, I have been sitting with these voices, alongside my intuition. I have let them all weigh in. As I close in on making a final decision, these voices have gotten louder.
Sitting at the dining room table, I formally invited them into the conversation. I closed my eyes and sensed into my body. I noticed a feeling of constriction across my chest and upper back. This sensation was associated with the part of me that was afraid.
I gave her the mic.
‘Honey, say what you need to say,’ I told her. Then I put pen to paper.
When I do this type of writing practice, I am simply the channel. I invite the different parts of me forward, and let them speak on the page. No one gets left out. Everyone has a say.
My pen began to move. Tears came to my eyes. I felt the part of me that was afraid, and I let her write through me.
She poured out all of her fears- that she would be judged, that she would be wrong, that she would regret her choice. As she wrote through me, I held space for her to be exactly as she was. I gave her permission to be jagged and emotional.
Eventually, the river became a stream, and the stream became a trickle.
Once her fears were out on paper, in plain sight, we sat with the possibility that they may come true. When I do this type of practice, I entertain every possibility. Nothing stays in the shadows. Everything comes into the light.
I asked:
What if these fears come true? What then?
I took a deep breath, and again let my hand move across the page. I let every possible scenario play out. I followed every thread to its most likely conclusion.
Ultimately, I came to a place of peace. Even if the worst case scenario were to occur, there would be a way through.
Then I considered the best-case scenario. I conjured the emotions I would feel in such a situation:
Relief
Gratification
Appreciation
Satisfaction
Expansion
Self-trust
Joy
At the conclusion of my writing practice, I felt integrated. I had brought the loudest parts of myself to the page, and invited them into conversation with the quieter parts. Everyone had a say. These different parts of me spoke to each other, and by the time we were finished, we were on the same page.
My fear evaporated, and I left the house to pick up my kids.
As I passed the church, I saw the table set up for Treat Tuesday. I crossed the street and grabbed my kids from the playground. As we headed back toward the church, one of the gentlemen standing at the table called out ‘Hi Sarah!’
I stopped and smiled. I’d never seen him, but I did recognize the fella standing next to him. He was at the coffee bar on the day I introduced myself as a yoga instructor.
The new gentleman offered his hand. ‘I hear you’re interested in teaching yoga,’ he said.
I was surprised, but said yes.
‘Why don’t you come by for coffee tomorrow morning?’ he said. ‘We can chat more then.’
I smiled and agreed.
The following morning, I returned to the church. The same gentleman stood up when he saw me, along with the barista I had met weeks before. They invited me to join them on the couches in front of the big, stained-glass windows. We sat down with steaming mugs.
The man and woman looked at each other, then smiled at me.
‘When can you start?’ he asked.
I didn’t need to write a proposal. I didn’t need to fret about the other teacher. I didn’t even need a resume.
I simply needed to come into alignment.
From the moment I first saw the sign in front of the church, I wanted to teach yoga there. It is a beautiful, open space. It is a healthy community hub. It is a two-minute walk from my home.
My job is to identify my desire and stay open. My job is also to work with any stuck energy inside of me.
Over the last few weeks, as I have been preparing to make this financial investment, I have accumulated some stuck energy. It has felt heavy and fear-based.
When I sat down to work with that energy on the page, something inside of me opened. When I put my fears on paper, they transmuted.
Writing is an alchemical act. My practice transformed the energy inside of me, and when the energy inside of me transformed, the manifestations outside of me transformed, too.
A stranger I met on the sidewalk the day before offered me a dream job.
All I needed to do was liberate my own blocked energy.
This is how it works, folks 😉
‘Everything is energy and that’s all there is to it. Match the frequency of the reality you want and you cannot help but get that reality. It can be no other way. This is not philosophy. This is physics.’
~Albert Einstein
This is the work I teach every week in the Golden Pen. You are the author of your own reality- learn to create it on purpose ✍️
Join here.
Love,
Sarah
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Thank you Sarah,
This was such a powerful and beautiful reminder of the tools to come into alignment.