This is helpful…most of my children’s lives, I did not parent this way, but have recently started.
I have three children, and my middle child is resistant to all of it.
He throws screaming fits at nearly 9 years old. He doesn’t seem to care about consequences and honestly, I don’t really know what consequences to give…my kids already don’t get very much screen time. I can barely get him to do his allotted chores.
I’m concerned for his future at this point.
We are also in family therapy and all of us have pointed out to him that he doesn’t act this way at school or in public or at his father’s house.
At first, when I started homeschooling, it got better and now I feel it has gotten worse, I think the fact that he has two different homes is making it quite difficult. Especially when there is ongoing abuse and trauma at the other house.
That’s a lot to work with. And certainly having the parenting responsibilities split between two homes is challenging.
But what I have found again and again is that it always comes down to me. The more I can hold myself consistently, the likelier we are to have a happy outcome. The more stable and centered I can be, the likelier the kids are to mirror that.
It takes practice. Years and years of practice. It requires deep embodiment. And it’s part of our spiritual journey!
Keep the focus on YOU. On your body, in your power. That’s where it all begins and ends.
Thanks for the encouragement, and I know that you are speaking truth here.
I can tell that my kids hate when my inner boundaries are firm. lol
It’s like they just have to listen to me, but they don’t know why.
It’s been really challenging to work through this stuff with him, but it is forcing me to do a lot of shadow work and that is something. I’m actually gonna write about on my blog soon.
Beautifully written. As a teacher and senior leader, I find myself increasingly having to do this with dysregulsted children at school. You explain the process so clearly and helpfully. Thank you.
You’re absolutely welcome. Some kids (and grownups) need a firm, consistent hand. It’s all about setting the standard and holding it. People will either come around or they won’t.
This is brilliant! Thanks for sharing. I've been meaning to subscribe to support your work and seeing this gave me such valuable info that I will do so now.
This is helpful…most of my children’s lives, I did not parent this way, but have recently started.
I have three children, and my middle child is resistant to all of it.
He throws screaming fits at nearly 9 years old. He doesn’t seem to care about consequences and honestly, I don’t really know what consequences to give…my kids already don’t get very much screen time. I can barely get him to do his allotted chores.
I’m concerned for his future at this point.
We are also in family therapy and all of us have pointed out to him that he doesn’t act this way at school or in public or at his father’s house.
At first, when I started homeschooling, it got better and now I feel it has gotten worse, I think the fact that he has two different homes is making it quite difficult. Especially when there is ongoing abuse and trauma at the other house.
Lots of grief.
Hi Sara,
That’s a lot to work with. And certainly having the parenting responsibilities split between two homes is challenging.
But what I have found again and again is that it always comes down to me. The more I can hold myself consistently, the likelier we are to have a happy outcome. The more stable and centered I can be, the likelier the kids are to mirror that.
It takes practice. Years and years of practice. It requires deep embodiment. And it’s part of our spiritual journey!
Keep the focus on YOU. On your body, in your power. That’s where it all begins and ends.
Sending love ❤️
Thanks for the encouragement, and I know that you are speaking truth here.
I can tell that my kids hate when my inner boundaries are firm. lol
It’s like they just have to listen to me, but they don’t know why.
It’s been really challenging to work through this stuff with him, but it is forcing me to do a lot of shadow work and that is something. I’m actually gonna write about on my blog soon.
Beautifully written. As a teacher and senior leader, I find myself increasingly having to do this with dysregulsted children at school. You explain the process so clearly and helpfully. Thank you.
You’re absolutely welcome. Some kids (and grownups) need a firm, consistent hand. It’s all about setting the standard and holding it. People will either come around or they won’t.
This is brilliant! Thanks for sharing. I've been meaning to subscribe to support your work and seeing this gave me such valuable info that I will do so now.
Fabulous! So glad to have you here, Mama ❤️
Thank you for pointing out the technique. Very helpful
You’re so welcome 🙏